How To Live In A Post-Corona World

Life, in and of itself, brings us twists and turns and enough shock value to last us a lifetime but what life does accomplish, even for the uninitiated, is always and never fails to do is provide opportunities to learn, to turn, to grow, and to evolve.

Almost a year ago, I have left the corporate and government contracting world. More aptly put, I ran out of the building screaming as if I was on fire. I had simply had enough of that kind of life. I was stressed. I was angry. I was discontented. And I was simply unhappy. So I took a little break and went into the world of staffing and recruiting, which I found out within one week was the same kind of work I ran away from less than a year prior. I suppose if you need a visual, I was the guy that walked through the revolving door in an office building but I never get in nor do I ever get out. I just keep going around in a circle. I was right back where I started just on a smaller scale but the stress, the anger, and the lack of fulfillment was still palpable for me.

Unbeknownst to me, somewhere across the world, someone was coughing, complaining of fever, and joint pain, someone was losing their sense of smell and taste, someone was dying. While I was working diligently to build a new career, “it” was happening, “it” was spreading, “it” was reaching out its hand to touch another life. Not more than a month from that, as I sat at my desk at the tail end of a really good day, my boss called me into her office. She was unable to look me in the eye and I instantly knew what this meant. Within several uncomfortable seconds, I was being laid off due to budget cuts relating to the Coronavirus outbreak. Life provided the twist and turn. I had to go home and tell my wife that I didn’t have a job, which also meant I didn’t have a check.

Now I had to see the opportunity in this. I was sitting at home with no immediate prospect for money. I couldn’t get anyone from the Unemployment department on the phone. And I was getting multiple phone calls saying that my loved ones were either sick or had died from complications relating to something called Covid-19.

And here is where many Americans find themselves. Americans just like me. And some in much worst circumstances. Now the vicious cycle begins.

According to a U.S. Chamber of Commerce poll on http://www.debt.org, “approximately 43% of small businesses likely will close permanently within the final six months of 2020. When July began, nearly 100 companies with more than $100M in debt had filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, according to the American Bankruptcy Institute, which includes “department stores, hotels, cruise lines, rental car companies, airlines, restaurants, and movie theaters.”

Even in that, you can clearly see that the majority of the activities you enjoyed outside of your home and your home state were in the crosshairs of this pandemic. That means besides maybe a drive to the grocery store, or a nice walk through the community, you were relegated to the four walls of home. Home might be where the heart is but it is also where the overwhelming thoughts are, and the stack of hospital bills are, and the frenetic energy of children not able to go to school or day care are, and where you are reminded that so many could lose everything if positive change doesn’t come quickly. That isn’t likely to be a remedy provide by your local unemployment department.

Statistics complied from The Pew Research Center (pew research.org – Rakesh Kochhar ) indicated that more than 20.5 million Americans were unemployed in the month of May alone and the unemployment rate skyrocketed to 13% in the same month. This was the second highest rate in the post-World War II era. These numbers are greater than the Great Recession (December 2007-June 2009). Add to this to the threat of infection, short term illness, and perhaps even death, this resembles a “worst case scenario” to most folks. That’s what a world with coronavirus in it looks like. But even with all that I have personally experienced, I still possess a modicum of optimism that this will not last forever, that the state we’re in is not our new normal. So what can we expect on the other side of this pandemic?

1. Take Stock Of Your Situation
   I’m not a big advocate of getting all of my news from the news so to speak. The local news can be discouraging, confusing, and downright scary. You may hear a round of new statistics, Coronavirus cases, unemployment rises and dips, and the accompanying political rhetoric as well. But what is your situation? What does your financial situation say? Have you been adept at saving money? Does your family employ wise spending habits? Many of us are forced to be reactive now that we’re faced with unemployment, bankruptcy and our local boutiques and Mom and Pops store closing for good. But what is your specific situation? Do you have enough savings or emergency funds to last your household three months? Six months? Nine months? A year? Look at your finances rather than the television set and assess where you specifically are. If you never paid that any attention, now is an ideal time for a full update.
2. Develop a Strategy
   Now that you can clearly see where you are financially, what is the next step? I’m suggesting, from personal experience, develop a strategy. My wife and I sat down after we combed through a sea of bills and debts and after we finished lamenting our precarious situation, we started to craft a plan. Since no one (and I emphasize NO ONE) truly knows how long this pandemic will adversely affect us, we wanted to get a broad view of how long we could survive with all these changes in mind. If we had to use our savings, how long would that last? Can we survive on three square meals a week? Will we have to eat peanut butter and jelly every day until? Should we become temporary vegetarians until we can afford meat again? We thought about almost every scenario. Get some paper and a pen and sit down with your family if you haven’t already. Tighten up your boot straps. Cut out the unnecessary items no matter how much you love and NEED them. What can you do reasonably without? Include that in your plans. You might have to adopt a minimalist mentality until this storm passes.
3. Think Contingencies
   Even though you are probably the best hairdresser in your city or the best travel agent in your town, you may not be able to use those incredible skills. I asked myself the same question that I am asking you today: What do you do when you can’t do what you absolutely love to do? To some, even the very thought is torturous but it’s a reality for us in this season. I have a nearly 20 year background in Administrative and Operations along with being a creative writer and author for more than three decades. What if I can’t do any of those things anymore? What if there just isn’t a place for that while we are quarantined? I began to consider how can I make that plan we crafted together with the family work. Can I cast aside ego and bag groceries at the local supermarket where my neighbors will surely see me? Am I willing to work entry level in an essential job for which I have no background? Logistics? Construction? Sanitation? Is there any place that I would not work until we can get out of this? That might be the biggest tip I can give you today. It is indeed the deal breaker!
4. Do The Impossible
   Do the impossible? What’s that? After decades of coaching my clients and helping them make ground-breaking decisions, I have rarely ever taken my own advice. Shameful I know! Why was I even working in that recruiting job where I had to be father, babysitter, and camp counselor to young adults to senior age 17-70 (true story!)? Why did I even apply for and take the assignment with the State Government? What drew me to a place where I pretty much knew I would not enjoy it long term? Most times, at least for me anyway, it was financially motivated. I, like many, tried to find the job that paid the most and had the best benefits. I left out a crucial requirement: A job that I would gladly leap out of bed for every day because you loved I that much. Very rare but congratulations if you have found your dream job. These last six months have been wrought with twists and turns without a doubt. I can write a book on this and I probably will down the line. But I learned a lesson that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I can do what I thought was impossible. What is that thing that if you could do it for free, you would do it gladly without complaint? What gives you that kind of joy and fulfillment? What is your dream job? I believe I found mines. (I may have found three of them.) What is stopping you from fulfilling that dream? Is it your geographical location? Is it your own imagination? Is it financial in nature? Is it just simple fear of failure? I don’t know which it is for you but the pressures of life can create the brightest of diamonds.

Life can be so fleeting. The last six months have taught me that if nothing else. I simply refused to let my life be a cautionary tale of what happens when one denies themselves their dream because they fear being uncomfortable. My old mentor (God rest his soul) used this quote all the time and I believe it applies very well in this context.

“The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream.” – Les Brown

I am determined to live in a post-Corona world by living the best life possible. I made plenty of excuses. I used many alibis. People all around us are feeling the impact of this new normal and then there are many around us that are re-inventing themselves and using the flood waters of adversity to rise above their circumstances. Don’t wait for the world around you to make you change. Change your world now! I hope you found this article helpful and insightful. Thanks for listening.

At The End Of The Day

Fam, what a week! I can’t point to the weather or the news or any events in my personal relationships. I can’t even blame the 24 hour news cycle. Not sure why but everything that I normally do creatively has got a snag this week. No blog articles. No videos. No networking. Nothing. Nada. Zilch! Having been a writer for over two decades, I recognize writer’s block when I see it. Trust me guys. This ain’t that! So what it is?

Frustrated as this may be because I need to be effective, purposeful, functioning, working…… So when I’m not or unable to, it’s a rough day at the home office. Maybe you get that too? I’m plopped down on the couch after cutting 48,396 blades of grass. I’m spent but I really believe this state that we’re in can sometimes wear you down. You don’t have to watch the local or national news all day to be worn out. You don’t have to be in the house nearly 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to be exhausted with the norm. Anybody can just be flat out tired. Besides, we’re only human, right?

Getting tired is a fact of life. Getting tired during this new normal is life on steroids. This is unprecedented territory and we’re all, to some degree, just trying to figure it out. Some well, some not so well. So…….what are you going to do?

I mean, what will you do when all this is over? This, meaning self quarantine in a pandemic with the threat of a second wave of coronavirus, and millions of people sick and/or unemployed. I know we’re in the heat of the moment but have you ever thought about what you’re going to do? Going to work is one likely response. Going out to a restaurant or catch a movie might be another. Add shopping or catching a flight across the country or hop on a cruise ship and you have a long list of “stuff”.

So are you going to do some stuff? Just fill the gaps of a life spent in quarantine for months. What are YOU going to do? Have you changed during these many months? What are you seeing differently about yourself? What have you learned about the relationships you’ve invested so much into? Have you detected a heightened sense of creativity and maybe even a desire to break out of the norm and do something different, maybe a little scary, but out of the box? Have you experienced so much that, for you, it’s impossible to go back to the way things were? What are you going to change about you?

The lessons for life are readily available for you to glean from. Unfortunate and trying times have an uncanny knack for producing character in us. The day is coming soon. Better to answer the question for yourselves today. At the end of the day, you owe it to yourself to survey the landscape of your today and start reassessing your tomorrow. You can do stuff. Or you can truly, intentionally, authentically, creatively, functionally, and wholeheartedly do YOU.

Weak Made Strong

Inspiration can often come from the strangest places. Today, the inspiration came from an unexpected place.

So the weak person, the brother or sister for whom Christ died, is ruined by your knowledge. Now when you sin like this against brothers and sisters and wound their weak conscience, you are sinning against Christ. Therefore, if food causes my brother or sister to fall, I will never again eat meat, so that I won’t cause my brother or sister to fall. (I Corinthians 8:11-13)

Although I am free from all and not anyone’s slave, I have made myself a slave to everyone, in order to win more people. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win Jews; to those under the law, like one under the law — though I myself am not under the law to win those under the law. To those who are without the law, like one without the law — though I am not without God’s law but under the law of Christ — to win those without the law. To the weak I became weak, in order to win the weak. I have become all things to all people, so that I may by every possible means save some. Now I do all this because of the gospel, so that I may share in the blessings. (I Corinthian’s 9:19-23)

For you were called to be free, brothers and sisters; only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love. For the whole law is fulfilled in one statement: Love your neighbor as yourself. (Galatians 5:13-14)

The verses are a precedence for how believers should treat others, and properly address the weaknesses of fellow believers. In today’s climate, when such weaknesses are identified, we mock and demean them and call them sheep. (Which animal would we be then? Just asking.)

We talk about liberty and freedom like they’re punchlines or a recitation of what someone told us and not what we fully understand. It’s amusing to see so many fight for a history that they don’t even want to understand. They’re so uncomfortable with it that they can’t even engage in discussions about it and they’d rather you “let it go” and “get over it”. (You guys seem the Vauxhh Booker video yet?)

I’ll even go one step further and say that many that claim to believe actually don’t because they said “yes” to a Savior and a faith because they hoped to have a better life and a cushion perhaps, for future behavior, and not because they were in danger and recognized a dire need to be saved. None of this is the Gospel. Think that’s where the problem starts and ends.

How it’s it possible that there’s so many of “us” claiming Jesus is our Lord and Savior but we prefer YouTube conspiracy videos and 24 hr news cycles over reading (and living) His words? How did we get so comfortable attacking our friends in our comment sections just to justify our position, without a thought for the damage we inflict? We’re caught at the strait gate and didn’t even know it. (Matthew 7:13)

In life and maybe in your upbringing, the stronger sibling is supposed to always protect the weaker sibling because of their love for them. Family is supposed to stand up for each other! Family lays down our lives for each other. (John 15:13) Is your stance or position that important, life and death, at the end of the day? Or do you just see yourself and your wants as higher than that of your neighbor?

In an episode of Big Bang Theory called the Space Probe Disintegration, Sheldon surprisingly tells Leonard that he makes compromises and sacrifices for his roommate all the time, much to Leonard’s shock. He lists not telling Leonard that he had lettuce in his teeth, even though everyone was laughing at him at the lunch table and not telling him that he knows how to drive all these years (a task he believed gave Leonard’s life purpose and meaning). At the end of the day, Sheldon calls its sacrifice but neither cost him anything of consequence. Although humorous in that sense, if freedom causes our fellow man to be bound or wounded, would you, at least, consider this may be a misuse of our good fortune.

So before we press “Send”, let’s rethink that next post or article share to let everybody know who you are. (They may never confront you but trust me, they know who you are. If they didn’t before, they do now.) Reconsider that next comment before it goes live. We’re in-fighting about facemasks, beaches, rights, telling “them” to clean up their own community when they want to talk about racial injustice in ‘Merica and people are still dying at a feverish place. Much of what you are hearing is not about country or freedom or liberty. It’s an anti-Gospel and anti-Christ sentiment because His love and His Word is absent and the love of this world is the impetus….We can pretend we didn’t see the Vauhxx Booker video, or conveniently forget about Breonna Taylor, or hope this George Floyd situation just goes away so you can get back to normal. You might not even want to remember Trayvon Martin. You have that right. We have liberty but many of us just don’t know how to wield this powerful weapon without destroying others. The Apostle Paul is teaching us today.

As normal, my intent isn’t to offend anyone. Think of this as me protecting you.

Notes From The MTWMY Editor’s Desk

Unfortunately, I’m not at my best today. Weakened, uncomfortable, but thoughtful and introspective so I’m hopeful you don’t mind me being the change I want to see this Independence Day weekend. Thinking about a lot today. Plenty of wake up calls everywhere. We’re learning that the gardens we’ve been sowing our precious seeds in weren’t the best ground. We’re discovering that the fatigue you’ve been experiencing in relationship was because you’re doing all the heavy lifting. Seems in many settings, you’re the only one that cares enough to step out in faith and use your voice to say “no” to the status quo in your world. Feeling a little lonely and even helpless? That might be a positive, Fam!

Do you know why I work to keep MTWMY alive and relevant? It’s because I believe it was a gift given to me that I didn’t ask for or earn. It’s a blessing I otherwise wouldn’t have had it not been given. It’s teaching discipline and sacrifice that grows me beyond my normal parameters. It’s my contention that this blog has value. The labor is worth something. But it should be easier, right? I have friends. But most can’t or don’t want to support this work for one reason or another.

Some think they might get spammed (The lie detector says that’s a lie!). Some think they’re too busy to read an article because they have a life. (Typical blogger stereotype aimed at me perhaps?) Some just don’t find the Gospel of Jesus Christ, self reflection, and all the stories from my life of deliverance, healing, and personal growth interesting. (Well, isn’t that special!). Some won’t support me out of some kind of religious loyalty because I no longer attend their church and I’m not part of the “family”. (Anti-Gospel behavior, folks! Pure and simple!) Not the only reasons, just some.

I greatly care for every friend in every of those categories. I spend time with them. I pray for them. I love them. This blog was written not only for my emotional and spiritual therapy but I labor in this effort too for the friends I didn’t mention. The ones that reach out to me in desperate need of support system, prayers, mature leadership, and just good old fashioned unconditional love. They’re not in healthy places. They’re on the brink at times. They may love Jesus but they’re battling some heavy questions. They want a spouse that will love and honor them. They want a home church that’ll make their souls a priority and not outsource them for a building project. They’re not even sure Jesus/God is real but they know that I’m real. They just want to talk to someone who genuinely cares.

Every article is written for those overwhelmed with life or those compassionate towards the true stories I tell and the people in them. They are supportive of what they see as a genuine gift. So every time I get some correspondence saying “Thank you” for sharing your story. It’s exactly what I’ve been going through for years, that is a sign that this work matters. That’s what keeps my pen in my hand. I’m doing this for a people not recognized yet. A people still in the shadows, yearning for the Light. MTWMY is your blog too. I share this with you and for you. For my friends. All of them.

HEY, STUPID!

A family of six gathers early Christmas morning to open presents. Traditionally, the father hands each gift out, calling the receiver of the gift by name. Every one that has received their gift smiles with excitement as the entire family watches them open it. Then the father turns to the last child seated and hands them their gifts but instead of calling them by their name, he calls them “Dummy”. Some of the family snickers and some remain silent and look away so they can’t see the pain and anguish, even the tears trickling down their face. One big happy family.

A small office of ten that specializes in marketing, as a group, has accomplished a huge milestone and are planning to celebrate their huge accomplishment. They arrange to meet at a restaurant they reserved for the occasion where they will hand out individual awards. The organizer of the event neglects to invite two of the ten co-workers that helped them accomplish the company goals. They didn’t realize there was even an event until they see the pictures on their peers’ cubicles, the photos posted on their company website, and the awards on their desks. “Oh, we forgot to to tell you. It was just a small gathering.” Teamwork makes the dream work.

A young girl stands at the blackboard with a piece of chalk trembling in her hand as she stares at the daunting equation on the board. She swallows hard, struggling to answer the question. She could feel the glare of her teacher and hear her classmates behind giggling, calling her “dumb” and impatiently groaning. She is friendly, compassionate, and kind but she can’t solve the problem. No one will ask why because it’s common that people that look like her will have difficulty with things others will view as simple. She is not stupid or lazy or dumb. She has an undiagnosed learning disorder. Now there are two problems she can’t solve.

Three real stories. Three real people that represent millions in our world. Step out of your ideal situation and step into their less than ideal ones. How would you feel? What would you like those that are witnessing this to do? What could they say that would comfort you in this time? Would one or all of these instances make you angry if it was happening to you? Are you angry just hearing about them now? Are you indifferent because you don’t think this will ever be your situation? What if it was to occur in the life of your child? Would that change how you feel?

1. It is painful for someone to never acknowledge you as who you are, not a derisive name forcibly given to describe you. The “sticks and stones” argument is a lie. Words do hurt. If your name is Rosemary but everybody, in practically every area of your life, keeps calling you “Karen”, you would eventually crumble under that weight and pressure of trying to prove you are not that. People can and will say that it doesn’t bother them but eventually it does. Just like a child called “stupid” by the only parent they had. They can be in their fifties with children of their own and still be hindered and tormented by these words so just imagine. It’s not so easy for objects of racial stereotyping or victims of verbal abuse.
2. We hear terms like inclusion and diversity but they’re often met with derision. Many feel like they’re being forced to wedge a round peg into multiple square holes. They just don’t fit. You’re trying to make them fit where they are not wanted or haven’t been considered in its creation. It’s easier to surround ourselves with those that “understand” and “relate” to us. Know what’s that called?
3. Once we decide that something or someone is what they are, and there is no room for change or evolution into anything else, it becomes the standard for us. The measuring stick. And if someone that we have unfairly categorizes dares to exceed our low expectations, rather than accept that, we will move the bar higher and see if they can jump that. We becomes judge, jury, and social executioners too. We decide a person’s limits, trajectory, and values in our minds. At least, that’s where it starts.

Do you understand a LITTLE bit better? I hope so.

What’cha Gonna Do About It?

Fam, before we start talking, I had to tell you something. I can’t express enough how overwhelming the outpouring of support and encouragement has been the past couple days. Mirror Time doesn’t go without you guys so I appreciate the momentum and the subscriptions. I’m in uncharted territory but it’s a lot easier when I know I’m not alone. Thank you very much!!

So……. how are you guys doing? I assume you’re safe and well and not infected by Corona but how are you guys doing actually? Several of my friends have been reaching out and even park in my living room, full of questions such as: “How do I help you personally? What can I do to stand with you and show solidarity? What do you need from me?” These are questions from people who racked with guilt, uneasiness, and a lot of anxiety. Watching the local news, I’m sure, doesn’t help their emotional well being.

A feat all by itself I’ve been mainly silent for the last three weeks. When you are faced with questions like these, I can’t just shrug my shoulders and mumble “I don’t know”. My long, thought out answer every time I responded contained one very important and understated word: love.

However, when I speak of this crazy word, I’m not referencing a weapon we use to control people in relationships. It’s also not what we toss out as if checking off a moral box. It’s not the word on your favorite coffee mug about a city or your affinity for pizza. It means so much more than that. The current state of things around us prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we still don’t understand this very tiny word.

Check this video out. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QIxp9xaEGI&feature=share)

If you took the time to research this, you won’t see references to kissing, hand holding, ring purchasing, or a bouquet of flowers. What you will see is a word that strikes fear into the hearts of men and causes the earth beneath their feet to tremble violently: COMMITMENT. When you stand across from your wonderful soulmate and you say “I do”, commitment is what is implied and expected. When your best friend is in the hospital and they’re staring at the door, waiting for you to walk through it, that’s a commitment expectation. When you realize how much you have compared to the poor soul you’re gawking at, what makes you reach into your pocket or hand them a hot meal and a sincere smile, it’s because of commitment. Let’s unpack that last one.

See, the first two are easy and make sense. Heck, you’ve seen them on television so you know it’s a real thing. I want to talk briefly about the last point because that’s the one that is rarely emphasized or exhibited. Why? Because in those, there is no reasonable expectation of return. A farmer wouldn’t plant seed if he didn’t think he’d gain a harvest to feed his family. He makes an investment expecting some sort of return on his effort, time, and money.

When you give a hot meal to someone that is starving and destitute who is unable to repay you, the sacrifice takes a different tone. You are investing, knowing that you will not recompensed anything from that person or persons. You are simply exhibiting kindness. However……… that’s only partially true. You are not likely to receive anything from that person you are serving but there is a reward. (Cue ominous, suspenseful music)

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. (Colossians 3:23-24)

As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life. (I Timothy 6:17-19)

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. (Hebrews 13:16)

When you hear or read about biblical love, whether it be an innocent that could’ve wielded his mighty power and refused to give his life in exchange for yours or a recurring prerequisite for discipleship that is dependent solely on how we treat each other, commitment is the rubber that meets the road.

Now you, who claim to be bearer of such a great love, examine yourselves in the faith and see if it’s genuine. (2 Corinthians 13:5)

Do you hate your brother or sister? Do you think of your life as more valuable than those whom you feel are beneath you? Is your point more important than Jesus’s name and His Word? Is the God you serve justified in your closed eyes and mouths while injustice happens before you. Clearly, we are not all willing participants but we are all witnesses. Not what are you going to do about it?

When all has been heard, the conclusion of the matter is this: fear God and keep his commands, because this is for all humanity. For God will bring every act to judgment, including every hidden thing, whether good or evil. (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14)

Here’s another video I want you to check out:

Ebony and Ivory

Good morning, friends and family.

As grateful as I was to get out of bed early this morning, I was also grieved at the social media conversations and the vitriol regarding the death of George Floyd that streamed across my timeline just like the heavy rainfall is tumbling down my window right now.

How well do you remember the song “Ebony and Ivory” by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder? Here are some of the lyrics.

We all know that people are the same wherever you go
There is good and bad in ev’ryone
We learn to live, when we learn to give
Each other what we need to survive, together alive

This song was written in 1982. I was 11 or 12 years old. Know what was happening in New York City during this time? The exact same thing that is happening now when it comes to racial inequality, violence against dark skinned persons by police in general (I was a victim of this approximately 3 years later), and other assorted human rights offenses. This song was intended to promote unity. Did it miss the mark?

The song was heavily criticized as being overly simplistic to the point that it insulted people. In layman’s terms, everyone already knows what is needed so they don’t need anyone to say it or sing it. (The song was banned in South Africa for obvious reasons that you can research yourself using key search terms as Apartheid, Academy Awards, 1984, and Nelson Mandela)

So if this song is oversimplified, why didn’t anything change since everyone already knew this was necessary? Now we get to the “it” of it all. Yesterday, if my timeline could talk, it would say “Please stop.” It would say “I can’t take anymore.” It may even try to use its imaginary hands and plug its imaginary fingers into its imaginary ears so it didn’t have to listen to one more word, one more fight, one more passive-aggressive jab, and one more demeaning, insensitive comment. But alas, that’s now how it works. What is at work are so-called believers (of which I am proudly a member) attacking each other from opposite sides of the racial divide, trying to assert points and counterpoints, and dig in on theological issues, spouting hermeneutics, and questioning the hearts of their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

We got people whose spouses, children, or friends are African American and in their foolish pride, think they have a grassroots understanding of their plight in today’s culture. They post and comment from a perspective that they “get it” and they know what is best for them and can advise on how they should think and feel. I am telling you today, tomorrow, and any other day that your stance isn’t your speaking your truth. It’s wrong. It’s not about your theology. It’s not about your personal sense of comfort. It’s not about your self-righteouness in silence or in boasting of knowledge or your countless degrees. They all mean nothing in the light of this. It’s not about you.

One of the reasons the song was even inspired by McCartney was hearing these words of a fellow musician named Spike Milligan: “Black notes, White notes, and you need to play the two to make harmony, folks!”

As an avid lover of the piano, I get the musical nuance in that but I also get the overarching point too. Ever tried to play a song with only major notes or minor notes? Tell me how it sounded. Ever sung a song that as constructed that way? It just has something missing. There is a huge void that no amount of riffing or vocal theatrics can fill. It goes beyond 61 keys on a piano and the limitations of men. We cannot achieve perfect harmony without each other. I don’t know if the authors of this song thought about this at all but the kind of sound they were singing about is one that reaches even to the depth of our souls. It is also the sound of Heaven if you subscribe to that reality and desire inclusion to such a wonderful community!

Critics of this song, just like those that are bantering on your social media timeline as we speak, are carrying the baggage of the same retort: “We already know this. You don’t need to say it again.” In laymen’s terms, I am tired of hearing about this. It’s not my fault. Just let it go and get over it. I don’t have any responsibility for what happened to you years ago. Let the past stay in the past. Why don’t we (or you) just be quiet? Things will be so much better if you don’t talk about this.

Honestly, in all of the infighting and critiquing that’s going on, what gets lost is the reason why you even came together in this steel cage to duke it out for the Self Righteous World Championship: A man was literally killed on video by a police officer while all parties put their hands in their pockets. If this was a contest to see who could do the most damage without taking any responsibility or ownership, then there is more than one loser here. Look Ma, no hands!

A dark skinned person of color was killed in a manner reminiscent of 1982 and many years just like that back in New York City. In ways reminiscent to what South Africans had seen with alarming regularity. In times long before that where those still alive (or their grandchildren) that witnessed the atrocities of slavery or even benefited from them would rather we all just forget…or perhaps would like us to remember, whichever they prefer nowadays. It has happened and still is today. At this point, silence and consent have clearly been outed as lovers and have been for centuries. It’s one of the worst kept secrets ever.

I am reminded of a passage that I shared with a mentee this past week that strikes a chord today and one that I believe sheds some light on that earlier question of the “Ebony and Ivory” song had back in 82.

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.” (James 1:22-25)

It comes down to knowledge versus practice. The religious scholars of their times were content with the knowledge they were the seed of Abraham, thinking that was enough to avoid judgment and to curry the favor of God. Jesus came in like a bull in a china shop, bursting their self-righteous bubbles, labeling them hypocrites, not because of the knowledge they had but their blatant refusal to practice what they boasted in knowing. (James 4:17)

So for all the insult swapping and grand-standing, know it is all pointless because we are all guilty of having a sinful heart, falling short of the glory of God and deserving of destruction had Jesus not laid down his life for his friends. Where the issue that rises to the top in today’s times is that we don’t actively listen to our brothers and sisters. We only want to make our point and feel righteous and justified about how much knowledge we have and how smart people think we are. We have become devoid of compassion. If a student gets a failing grade in a subject they need to pass to graduate, they have the choice of not graduating and being forced to face the topic eventually coupled with the embarrassment of not walking with their peers at graduation or they can study harder and apply themselves to learn the concepts and go for that elusive “A” on the retest and pass the course. Some avoid graduation and live with not trying to understand the difficult concept.

Some say they don’t see color. Some might even choose to remain silent while you hurt and resurface when things are happier on social media again. Some might even slide into your DMs to let you know they are not like those other people and they are not bigots and tell you secretly they don’t agree with what is going on. At the end of the day, it’s about doing what we know is right by the perfect law of liberty and continuing to do so in actions that go beyond our words alone.

The piano, as simplistic an example as it may be (please forgive me, critics) is a great reminder of how much harmony is the primary requirement for a beautiful sound. If harmony is the primary goal, then you have to have an listening ear to hear, flexibility to adapt and adjust to change, and a rudimentary understanding of the importance of both keys and how they sound when pressed together. Isolating one key from another limits the potential of the instrument and runs counter to its full purpose. Alone, they the keys are nothing. Together, the potential for a glorious sound is unlimited.

Just so we don’t forget…..in case you’re having frank discussions with your children or your co-workers, his name was Gordon Floyd. He was killed by a police officer. He was a security guard. he was quiet and soft spoken. He worked at the Salvation Army. He was an African American man just like I am, and your children, your spouse, and your friends may be. He had a family. He had needs and fears. He had dreams and aspirations. He bled. He needed to breathe. Just like we do. He didn’t deserve to die like an animal. He is one of many.

LOVE Shorts

💙❤️💚🧡💛💜💙💛❤️💚💜🧡💙💚💜❤️🧡The LOVE I’m acquainted with would never do “drive by judgments” on social media. They’ll park awhile and attempt to understand.

💙❤️💚🧡💛💜💙💛❤️💚💜🧡💙💚💜❤️🧡
The LOVE I’ve seen won’t be able to rest if it even thought it offended or hurt someone with their words.

💙❤️💚🧡💛💜💙💛❤️💚💜🧡💙💚💜❤️🧡
The LOVE I hear so much about constantly seeks ways to lift others up. It wants to know how it can help.

💙❤️💚🧡💛💜💙💛❤️💚💜🧡💙💚💜❤️🧡
The LOVE I’m reminded of knows “flowers” are more relevant to the living rather than the dead.

💙❤️💚🧡💛💜💙💛❤️💚💜🧡💙💚💜❤️🧡
The LOVE that delivered me recognizes just saying “I Love You” pale in comparison to showing “they love you”.

💙❤️💚🧡💛💜💙💛❤️💚💜🧡💙💚💜❤️🧡
The LOVE considered the interests of others more than themselves.

💙❤️💚🧡💛💜💙💛❤️💚💜🧡💙💚💜❤️🧡
The LOVE I’ve personally witnessed loved me without conditions and valued me without limits.

💙❤️💚🧡💛💜💙💛❤️💚💜🧡💙💚💜❤️🧡 The LOVE I hoped to understand never exalts itself above others. It desires to serve, it desires to provide, it desires to give itself.

I only hope I display this love in a fraction of the way it was displayed to me.

Don’t You Forget About Me

“But when all goes well with you, remember me and show me kindness; mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison.”

“The chief cupbearer, however, did not remember Joseph; he forgot him.”

“When two full years had passed, Pharaoh had a dream: He was standing by the Nile, when out of the river there came up seven cows, sleek and fat, and they grazed among the reeds. After them, seven other cows, ugly and gaunt, came up out of the Nile and stood beside those on the riverbank. And the cows that were ugly and gaunt ate up the seven sleek, fat cows. Then Pharaoh woke up. He fell asleep again and had a second dream: Seven heads of grain, healthy and good, were growing on a single stalk. After them, seven other heads of grain sprouted—thin and scorched by the east wind. The thin heads of grain swallowed up the seven healthy, full heads. Then Pharaoh woke up; it had been a dream. In the morning his mind was troubled, so he sent for all the magicians and wise men of Egypt. Pharaoh told them his dreams, but no one could interpret them for him.

Then the chief cupbearer said to Pharaoh, “Today I am reminded of my shortcomings. Pharaoh was once angry with his servants, and he imprisoned me and the chief baker in the house of the captain of the guard. Each of us had a dream the same night, and each dream had a meaning of its own. Now a young Hebrew was there with us, a servant of the captain of the guard. We told him our dreams, and he interpreted them for us, giving each man the interpretation of his dream. And things turned out exactly as he interpreted them to us: I was restored to my position, and the other man was impaled.”

So Pharaoh sent for Joseph, and he was quickly brought from the dungeon. When he had shaved and changed his clothes, he came before Pharaoh.”

(Gen 40:14,23; Gen 41:1-14)

Small World Problems

If I asked ten of the closest people to me if they were teachers, more than half of them will say “No” but all ten of them teach others directly or indirectly. We teach those closest to us how we adjust to adversity. We teach them how much we believe what we profess. We teach by our example.

Take a stroll through the timeline of your friends and those close to you. What do you see when you scale through every post and retweet? People we thought we knew well speaking unspeakable things. Family members showing a side of them you never noticed at the family reunions. People you thought had a heart of gold showed a different type of heart when they rant about the latest politics of the day.

While we litter our timelines with junk, rhetoric, our a daily dose of vitriol, there are people around us and around the world with real problems. Problems we either don’t see or we simply don’t care about. I won’t bore you by listing them all. You don’t have to dig deep to see what’s happening in the world.

Airstrikes, obesity, scarcity of clean drinking water, ocean conservation, human rights, violent protests, foreign policy, undernourishment and malnutrition, epic growth in sex trafficking, population control in some countries, poverty, and perhaps the worst infestation we’ve seen in half a century. The list of global issues goes on and on.

Even if these issues don’t touch your individual households so you don’t care much about them, can we agree, at least, that what we complain, post, and share pale in comparison to these issues? Fair to say that we’ve been a bit distracted and self absorbed? Can we be honest enough to admit that we might be exhibiting the worst side of our humanness?

The hearts that help to produce the most good are those compassionate to not only the world they live in but the world at large also. Is that what someone sees when they look at our feelings typed on webpages with emojis and memes?

It’s nice to have the privilege of having first world problems. Perhaps we shouldn’t abuse the privilege.

More Beautiful Than Diamonds

Growing up where I did, the indirect message of “Every man for themselves” and “Mind your own business” was deafening. I’ve seen my hometown’s citizens walk over dead bodies in the street. I’ve seen our citizens turn their radios and televisions up louder to drown out the blood curdling screams of our neighbors. We learned the harrowing lesson to close our eyes. So…..The only feasible explanation for why I care about people so much is my experience and relationship with Jesus Christ. I have given the shirt off my back and the shoes off my feet. I never really expected anything in return. Just did what I would want done for me if roles were reversed.

But what I am seeing most recently is that regardless of religious stances, moral platitudes, and attempts at Good Samaritanism, people invest time in what they care about. They may smile when they see you. You might get a hug. They may declare that they’ll try harder to make time to connect. But when you’re not “in sight”, your value in others’ eyes is diminished. Might be wise to value yourself and if you are fortunate to locate someone who sees you as valuable too, value them as well.

I don’t know where you are today and I don’t know what you’re challenged with but I do know that you have definitive value. You were made from a grand design. Forged from the destiny’s blueprint. Handcrafted with purpose and specificity. You’re no accident and neither is anything happening to you today.

There’s more to you than what your mirror shows. Sure, you got scars and bruises, bumps and blemishes but they don’t make you ugly. They just remind us of the struggles we have survived with the stories we’re now privileged to tell. Today is another day I get to learn how to be compassionate, how to love, how to withstand judgement, how to be forgiving and kindhearted, how to shine brighter than your circumstances.

You’re more beautiful than diamonds. At least, I think you are.

Here Today….

Talking about my personal life isn’t a new thing on Mirror Time. Just a few days, I experienced what I would describe as a “near death event”. I honestly don’t know how else to describe it. I ran through it over and over in my mind since the event. I knew someone might ask and I wanted to be as concise as possible. I didn’t want to exaggerate or downplay it. This was an unenviable position.

Scared? Yes. Sober? Very. I honestly questioned if I was ready to go. I pondered if I have done enough of what I was here to do. I was indeed scared. Not afraid to die. Afraid to have not loved to my fullest potential. It’s possible to have the nicest watch and still be unaware of the time.

Taking this life for granted is so dangerous. And so painfully common. I see it on social media so often. People say what they want for maximum effect. People trying to get random strangers to “like” their thoughts. People want 5,000 friends to boost them up and give them value. Authentic trumps superficial in the mirror of life and death. We waste so much precious time. You may never see it in a post or a news story but it is arguably this life’s greatest tragedy.

I was lying on my living room floor and I didn’t have 5,000 friends to pick me up. I would’ve settled for just one. One was more than enough. I’m grateful that I had one friend that loved me enough to hold me up, with the knowledge that I would’ve done the same. I had a different sympathy for those who fall ill or have health issues. It’s scary by itself but so much scarier when you’re alone.

So……. I’m still here. Still standing. I honestly can’t say that I could’ve been dead. But by the grace of God, I have the honor to live and write again. I’ll never take this for granted again. I pray that I’m effective with all that I’ve been given in this life and not bury those goods in the ground. One step. One day. At a time.

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will travel to such and such a city and spend a year there and do business and make a profit.”Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring — what your life will be! For you are like vapor that appears for a little while, then vanishes. Instead, you should say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:13-15)

 

Editors Note from the MTWMY Desk

Good evening, guys.

I’m overwhelmed with gladness and joy for all that the Lord has done in my life. Some would be hard pressed to understand this joy that I speak of. Some would even question if it’s authentic. Well, if you’ve ever experienced this, nothing else can come close.

I’m grateful that you’re a part of the big things taking place. I’m excited for the gradual rebirth of Mirror Time and the arrival of “Skipping The STEP”, which should be due sometime this fall. You’ve heard some of the stories and you know some of the anecdotes but you haven’t seen anything yet.

Lots more to come. Big news may be coming soon as well. Stay tuned. Keep us on your mind. Keep sharing with others. Keep subscribing so you get our fresh articles. Thank you guys.

Mending Broken Hearts

Guys, thank you so much for all of you that support me and my vocation as an author.

Many of you know the story but the short of it is my first book, “The Heart of A Stepfather” was published by a company that not only didn’t honor the commitments in their publishing package but they also kept all my royalties. I am not asking for any pity, just want you to understand why this post is being shared with you.

 

I was blessed to enter into partnership with another publishing company, Cooke House Publishing, and they have promised to do things much differently and better than what I had experienced. I believe that and my next book, Skipping the STEP, should be out this fall.

 

In the interim, I need to break free of the “old” so I can embrace the “new”. My first book, from your reviews, has been inspirational and therapeutic. I have been selling the book sparingly and have even donated some to families in need. I have about seventeen books left. They’re selling for $10 but I’m willing to help you if you need it. Reach out to me privately and I will try to help get the books into your hands.

This isn’t a book I’m hocking to get famous. There is a sincere point to all the blood, sweat, and tears. I have actual testimonials from people who have been touched by this book and it has radically changed their family life. At the very least, their approach to their family life. Writing this book mended my heart and it seems to be doing the same for others.

I would really appreciate your help making that dream a reality. Thank you all very much.

What’s the 411?

Hey guys,

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who have been supporting Mirror Time with Mr. Yu from the beginning. It’s been great getting to know you all and hear some of your stories, testimonies, and comments. Some of them are very interesting. Some of them make me spend a little more time in prayer. Some of them encourage me to keep going.

Today, I would like to ask your opinion.

I have written well over a hundred blog articles as well as four books. I don’t have writer’s block but I wanted to ask your opinion on what topics you would like to see here on Mirror Time. If the topic is something I can do, I’ll make it happen with thanks to you. I can keep doing what I’m doing but I think it’s incredible that those picking up what I’m putting down also contribute to the creative process.

So put on your thinking caps. Give me a topic that matters to you. And if I can run with your suggestions, I’ll publish it within 30 days.

Sound good?

Thank you in advance for your support. Look forward to hearing your great ideas.

~Mr. Yu

Did You Wash Your Hands?

That’s something I asked my kids or my grand-children when they exit the restroom extremely quickly. We don’t want to promote the spreading of germs and bacteria. As a moderate germophobe, that matters to me. We generally wash our hands when we know or think we’ve come in contact with something unclean and we want to remove it.

I welcome the comments about cleanliness and good hygiene but this article extends far beyond that.

Every single day, you open your morning paper, or turn on the news telecast, or happen onto CNN or Yahoo.com and in less than sixty seconds, some ugly news stories are thrust into your face and you have a split second to decide……

You have three options.

1. You read the headline and instantly form your own opinion and head to the comment section to “share” your thoughts?
2. You read through the entire story or listen to the full account and then make a reasonably sound determination?
3. Or do you quickly move away from the disturbing and uncomfortable news story or turn the channel?

We most likely pick from one of these every single day. Do we have the heart to empathize with the plight of others around our world or do we simply wash our hands of the situation?

You ever heard the name Pontius Pilate? He has a long story but he is best known for acknowledging that Jesus Christ was innocent of the charges against him but still bowed to political pressure, literally and figuratively washing his hands of any guilt in the situation. He allowed there to be a punishment for a crime he knew in his heart the accused was not guilty of. Rather than threaten his status and potentially upset his lifestyle, he detached himself from the situation and told the bloodthirsty crowd “Do what you want; Just leave me out of it.”

Have you ever been there?

Are you there right now?

I grew up in a neighborhood that varies from the ones we live in now. If a woman was screaming in the middle of the night, not only would all the lights in the homes go on but people would come out of their homes in their robe and slippers. True story. Nowadays, people’s default is to just be left out of it. I remember not so fondly a social experiment where a man lied face down on a busy Midtown street back home in NYC. The amount of people with their ears glued to their cell phones that passed the fallen man had to be in the 80 to 90% range. Some even literally stepped over his body. Did it matter if he was a victim of a heart attack or aneurysm or if he was struck down after being mugged? Was the man dead? So many kept walking and very few thought to check.

Just for clarity. I have witnessed two aspects of this scenario. One was a social experiment conducted by a news program in an effort to see how many people in a busy Metropolitan city would take the time to stop for someone potentially in need. The other was an actual person in need that many of the citizens of my beloved hometown walked past and walked over. I was a bit too young to understand the severity of the situation and have knowledge of what to do. I am positive I would do things differently now if given the chance. You just see a homeless man lying in the middle of a busy sidewalk. For me, I am seeing a symbol of social issues that we readily scroll past, turn away from, or flat out decide that since it doesn’t directly affect us, it’s not our concern.

It has become way too easy to simply wash our hands of any moral responsibility as fellow human beings. It’s too simple now to turn up the volume on the soundtrack of our lives so we don’t have to hear anyone’s cries. Ladies and gentlemen, we are becoming expert at washing our hands and just wanting to be left out of “it”.

You see the crimes. You are witnessing the injustices. You hear the screams and cries of the innocent. Are your eyes closed right now? Have you plugged your ears with your fingers? Are you listening? Do you care?

Everybody’s situation is different but one thing we clearly share: Within your sphere of influence, you have an opportunity. Someone. Somewhere. Somehow. Please take a closer look before declaring that everything is just fine the way it is. Look closer. Listen harder. Stay engaged. Pray fervently if you know how. Be diligent in assessing the details in the “content” rather than fly off the handle at the “headline”. “What can you do” isn’t the question. “What will you do” is the more intentional approach. Ask it of yourself as you watch our world from a safe distance.

What is that issue that we just don’t want to see or hear about? What news stories make us uncomfortable and send us running in the opposite direction? What causes are we struggling with lending a hand to and why? Do we need more information? Do we have the capacity to listen to those that we know that are feeling the effects of injustice? Are you at a place in your life where you care passionately for issues that don’t affect you personally?

This is one time historically that I would rather that all of our hands stay soiled until all the work has been completed. Then we can clean our hands together.

MInD On mY BUsINeSS AnD My BuSInESs oN My MiNd

I know the frenzy and the mayhem that comes from the imaginary world (sort of) of fantasy football. We find ourselves on the brink of a huge week 8 win and we have a key running back that is going into his match-up “questionable”. We find ourselves desensitized with the need for tangible stats to propel us to a win and we forget the real life injury the player has. We almost literally try to will him onto the football field to win “for us”. To play hard and gut it out “for us”. He could have a broken fibula and we want him to suck it up and get out there because we think we can’t afford to lose a game that we don’t actually play in. We are not simply losing a game if that player is downgraded to “doubtful” or “out”. We are actually losing perspective on what is going on around us in the real world. We are losing a small piece of us that makes us human and connects and unifies us.

So if that is what happens in our small little fantasy sphere, what do you think is taking place in boardrooms and conference rooms in large companies like, let’s say, The National Football League?
How much do they see that takes place in the real world and it falls low on the critical meter in favor of the bottom line? How do we retain the force of a star running back that makes our team go despite the fact that he punched the mother of his children in the face? Or the uber-physical D-lineman who is even more physical at home? Multi million and billion dollar companies alike find it easy to ignore what many of us find morally reprehensible. How is that possible? It starts with a little piece at a time.

Hearing the screams of the neighbor downstairs and the sounds of glass shattering…she turns her TV up louder to drown it out. Deep red mark around the eye. Bruises on his upper back. Pre hug flinching. So many signs. Turning the channels because you’re tired of hearing about police involved shootings and hate crimes on every newscast. Before you know it, it doesn’t exist to you anymore. It’s not happening to you so it’s not happening. Our hearts grow colder and colder and the light inside of us grows dimmer and dimmer.

I didn’t name examples because I didn’t need to. This post couldn’t be big enough to name them all. if you care, they’re right there for you to find. It’s easy for many of us to rail against big business and how dare they overlook such an egregious error in judgment. We pound our chests and we carry signs, yelling for change. Know what else we do? We do the same things they do but perhaps on a smaller scale if you can measure morality in anything other than dollars and cents. What have you seen that you have ignored? What did you do that you bury because it’s too hard to look at or think about? Clearly, we hold sports figures to a higher standard but we let our children say and do heinous things and explain it away. “Boys will be boys” and other classless cliches like those come to mind.

Before we go deep off the moral edge and vilify companies (that we also, by the way, CONTINUE to support financially without fail) or others that act less than human, before you rail on that social networking site and respond to that news article and give them a piece of your mind, stop! Run to the mirror and think about what you will say, the implant it will leave, and if you can say this without a tinge of hypocrisy in your own reflection. More of us should do this. Wouldn’t you say?