How To Live In A Post-Corona World

Life, in and of itself, brings us twists and turns and enough shock value to last us a lifetime but what life does accomplish, even for the uninitiated, is always and never fails to do is provide opportunities to learn, to turn, to grow, and to evolve.

Almost a year ago, I have left the corporate and government contracting world. More aptly put, I ran out of the building screaming as if I was on fire. I had simply had enough of that kind of life. I was stressed. I was angry. I was discontented. And I was simply unhappy. So I took a little break and went into the world of staffing and recruiting, which I found out within one week was the same kind of work I ran away from less than a year prior. I suppose if you need a visual, I was the guy that walked through the revolving door in an office building but I never get in nor do I ever get out. I just keep going around in a circle. I was right back where I started just on a smaller scale but the stress, the anger, and the lack of fulfillment was still palpable for me.

Unbeknownst to me, somewhere across the world, someone was coughing, complaining of fever, and joint pain, someone was losing their sense of smell and taste, someone was dying. While I was working diligently to build a new career, “it” was happening, “it” was spreading, “it” was reaching out its hand to touch another life. Not more than a month from that, as I sat at my desk at the tail end of a really good day, my boss called me into her office. She was unable to look me in the eye and I instantly knew what this meant. Within several uncomfortable seconds, I was being laid off due to budget cuts relating to the Coronavirus outbreak. Life provided the twist and turn. I had to go home and tell my wife that I didn’t have a job, which also meant I didn’t have a check.

Now I had to see the opportunity in this. I was sitting at home with no immediate prospect for money. I couldn’t get anyone from the Unemployment department on the phone. And I was getting multiple phone calls saying that my loved ones were either sick or had died from complications relating to something called Covid-19.

And here is where many Americans find themselves. Americans just like me. And some in much worst circumstances. Now the vicious cycle begins.

According to a U.S. Chamber of Commerce poll on http://www.debt.org, “approximately 43% of small businesses likely will close permanently within the final six months of 2020. When July began, nearly 100 companies with more than $100M in debt had filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, according to the American Bankruptcy Institute, which includes “department stores, hotels, cruise lines, rental car companies, airlines, restaurants, and movie theaters.”

Even in that, you can clearly see that the majority of the activities you enjoyed outside of your home and your home state were in the crosshairs of this pandemic. That means besides maybe a drive to the grocery store, or a nice walk through the community, you were relegated to the four walls of home. Home might be where the heart is but it is also where the overwhelming thoughts are, and the stack of hospital bills are, and the frenetic energy of children not able to go to school or day care are, and where you are reminded that so many could lose everything if positive change doesn’t come quickly. That isn’t likely to be a remedy provide by your local unemployment department.

Statistics complied from The Pew Research Center (pew research.org – Rakesh Kochhar ) indicated that more than 20.5 million Americans were unemployed in the month of May alone and the unemployment rate skyrocketed to 13% in the same month. This was the second highest rate in the post-World War II era. These numbers are greater than the Great Recession (December 2007-June 2009). Add to this to the threat of infection, short term illness, and perhaps even death, this resembles a “worst case scenario” to most folks. That’s what a world with coronavirus in it looks like. But even with all that I have personally experienced, I still possess a modicum of optimism that this will not last forever, that the state we’re in is not our new normal. So what can we expect on the other side of this pandemic?

1. Take Stock Of Your Situation
   I’m not a big advocate of getting all of my news from the news so to speak. The local news can be discouraging, confusing, and downright scary. You may hear a round of new statistics, Coronavirus cases, unemployment rises and dips, and the accompanying political rhetoric as well. But what is your situation? What does your financial situation say? Have you been adept at saving money? Does your family employ wise spending habits? Many of us are forced to be reactive now that we’re faced with unemployment, bankruptcy and our local boutiques and Mom and Pops store closing for good. But what is your specific situation? Do you have enough savings or emergency funds to last your household three months? Six months? Nine months? A year? Look at your finances rather than the television set and assess where you specifically are. If you never paid that any attention, now is an ideal time for a full update.
2. Develop a Strategy
   Now that you can clearly see where you are financially, what is the next step? I’m suggesting, from personal experience, develop a strategy. My wife and I sat down after we combed through a sea of bills and debts and after we finished lamenting our precarious situation, we started to craft a plan. Since no one (and I emphasize NO ONE) truly knows how long this pandemic will adversely affect us, we wanted to get a broad view of how long we could survive with all these changes in mind. If we had to use our savings, how long would that last? Can we survive on three square meals a week? Will we have to eat peanut butter and jelly every day until? Should we become temporary vegetarians until we can afford meat again? We thought about almost every scenario. Get some paper and a pen and sit down with your family if you haven’t already. Tighten up your boot straps. Cut out the unnecessary items no matter how much you love and NEED them. What can you do reasonably without? Include that in your plans. You might have to adopt a minimalist mentality until this storm passes.
3. Think Contingencies
   Even though you are probably the best hairdresser in your city or the best travel agent in your town, you may not be able to use those incredible skills. I asked myself the same question that I am asking you today: What do you do when you can’t do what you absolutely love to do? To some, even the very thought is torturous but it’s a reality for us in this season. I have a nearly 20 year background in Administrative and Operations along with being a creative writer and author for more than three decades. What if I can’t do any of those things anymore? What if there just isn’t a place for that while we are quarantined? I began to consider how can I make that plan we crafted together with the family work. Can I cast aside ego and bag groceries at the local supermarket where my neighbors will surely see me? Am I willing to work entry level in an essential job for which I have no background? Logistics? Construction? Sanitation? Is there any place that I would not work until we can get out of this? That might be the biggest tip I can give you today. It is indeed the deal breaker!
4. Do The Impossible
   Do the impossible? What’s that? After decades of coaching my clients and helping them make ground-breaking decisions, I have rarely ever taken my own advice. Shameful I know! Why was I even working in that recruiting job where I had to be father, babysitter, and camp counselor to young adults to senior age 17-70 (true story!)? Why did I even apply for and take the assignment with the State Government? What drew me to a place where I pretty much knew I would not enjoy it long term? Most times, at least for me anyway, it was financially motivated. I, like many, tried to find the job that paid the most and had the best benefits. I left out a crucial requirement: A job that I would gladly leap out of bed for every day because you loved I that much. Very rare but congratulations if you have found your dream job. These last six months have been wrought with twists and turns without a doubt. I can write a book on this and I probably will down the line. But I learned a lesson that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I can do what I thought was impossible. What is that thing that if you could do it for free, you would do it gladly without complaint? What gives you that kind of joy and fulfillment? What is your dream job? I believe I found mines. (I may have found three of them.) What is stopping you from fulfilling that dream? Is it your geographical location? Is it your own imagination? Is it financial in nature? Is it just simple fear of failure? I don’t know which it is for you but the pressures of life can create the brightest of diamonds.

Life can be so fleeting. The last six months have taught me that if nothing else. I simply refused to let my life be a cautionary tale of what happens when one denies themselves their dream because they fear being uncomfortable. My old mentor (God rest his soul) used this quote all the time and I believe it applies very well in this context.

“The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream.” – Les Brown

I am determined to live in a post-Corona world by living the best life possible. I made plenty of excuses. I used many alibis. People all around us are feeling the impact of this new normal and then there are many around us that are re-inventing themselves and using the flood waters of adversity to rise above their circumstances. Don’t wait for the world around you to make you change. Change your world now! I hope you found this article helpful and insightful. Thanks for listening.

Pass Me Another Brick, Please!

This article is guaranteed to make many of you squirm. It’s also guaranteed to be the premise for a future article and a future episode of my podcast but bears repeating. We want to build our business brick by brick but we also often want others to help us.

I guess I’m not bright enough to realize this but I’ve been dabbling in entrepreneurship for almost 30 years. I was a singer-songwriter, multiple small business owner, producer, published author, business and personal life coach, blogger, and sales consultant. I probably left some roles out for sure. So that means I’ve been asking for friends and family to consider supporting me. A lot. I’m guessing I’m not alone.

I didn’t ask for money. I never asked for donations. What I did was ask for many that I know and trust and love to take a look, to consider, or to pass it onto someone else who has a specific need for said product.

Doesn’t sound too hard, right? This isn’t unreasonable, yeah? Well, it can be the equivalent of pulling teeth for the entrepreneurial adventurer.

Covid-19 impact set aside, it’s difficult to be a business owner. Not because the product isn’t good. Not because there is a huge divide between supply and demand. It’s not even because of the economic climate. It’s because of pure, unadulterated hate. Yep, hate in the sense that we use it in today’s vernacular. Like, “she’s hating on me because I got promoted!” kind of hate.

True story. My wife and I used to sell handmade ceramic art in downtown Charleston. Every night, we had to fight (theoretically) for relevance, not because of the quality of our product but because of people’s perceptions of us. By the end of the night, we were exhausted from answering the same questions with the same derisive tone, “Did YOUUUU make these?”

“Yes”, we replied with near robotic voices, “we made them by hand ourselves.”

Most would look us up and down and walk away in favor of the mass produced, poorly made version instead a few feet away. After a while, we became calloused to the micro-aggressions and just embarked on being intentional about enjoying the moment and the people we got to meet and the stories we got to hear.

In the medium that we worked in, a potential client will walk past nine tables that sell the exact same thing at similar costs. What makes that consumers decide to buy? The saying “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” To be brutally honest, we saw a lot of trash being sold.

Of course, it’s just my opinion. If it was made with straw, with gobs of glue speckled throughout, and a strong wind could tear it asunder, they still have to the right to value it over the work I put into my product. At the end of the day, we can question what someone is thinking, but it’s all about one’s perception.

I’m definitely going to discuss this at length in the near future because we really need to ask ourselves some tough questions. Does it make sense to use nearly all your budget for a more expensive (with recognizable name value) but not better made product and dismiss a sturdier, more quality product (by local small business owner) at merely a third of your budget? It may come down to how that buyer views the business owners specifically.

Sadly, if you have ever ventured into entrepreneurship, you may have already discovered that family treats you like that too. Sometimes people that “know” you (or think they do), they often attach their perceptions of you with what you can do. I’ve personally seen that up close as well.

If I ask you how does the enterprising entrepreneur move from obscurity to relevance, you might say “Hard work” or “determination”. Perhaps. I’ll add faith to that. Lots of it including your faith that your product satisfies a need and maybe YOUR faith in the entrepreneur that with a little boost, they might be able to make a go of this venture. They may just need a little help.

The takeaway if you haven’t already found one? As an entrepreneur, you have to keep going and you have to enlarge your tents and expand your territory. In my mind, I’ve built up enough cache over almost 50 years to have enough support for the reasonably good ideas that I’ve had. In. My. Mind. Thinking someone should be there for you is not a sound business practice.

They can eat with you. They can rest in your home. They can agree with what you say while you’re saying it. But the rubber may not meet the road when you need it to the most. You might be let down that your friends didn’t subscribe to your YouTube channel or your family haven’t donated to your non-profit but you can’t let go. Spread your net further than those you thought were a given to support you. Though painful to consider, they may just see the “business owner” in a way that differs from how you see yourself. Keep the train moving! Spread the net further and wider.

Let me let you in on a little secret that I stumbled upon in the mid nineties that still holds true today. Despite all the substandard products around you that seem to demand everyone’s attention, people, humans, consumers are still and always are attracted to a crowd. If there’s a crowd, we immediately surmise that coffee shop has something good, or that restaurant has some good sandwiches, etc.

One hot and muggy afternoon while selling our wares downtown, we were engaging a couple in conversation. They weren’t interested in buying anything at that moment but they were very interested in what we were doing. They were smiling, laughing, moving their hands, and very interested in hearing our story. We, in turn, we’re interested in hearing theirs as well. Soon, a small crowd began to form around our table. That crowd grew and grew and grew. We began to engage more people who were there listening to our story.

If I remember correctly, even the couple we were sharing with decided to purchase a gift for a relative. That was one of our most successful days. No sales pitches. No techniques or traps. Just enjoying the moment and being authentic. Even other vendors came over to our table to see what all the hubbub was about. They looked and looked and I gather they still couldn’t see it. Can you?

Please continue to follow us at mirrortimewithmistayu.wordpress.com. My company will be producing a second blog and podcast sometime in 2020. Be on the lookout for those exciting new projects! Also, MTWMY will begin to have a new look. Thank you for your patience and also thank you for your support with this growth we’re about to embark on! Thank you all!

What’cha Gonna Do About It?

Fam, before we start talking, I had to tell you something. I can’t express enough how overwhelming the outpouring of support and encouragement has been the past couple days. Mirror Time doesn’t go without you guys so I appreciate the momentum and the subscriptions. I’m in uncharted territory but it’s a lot easier when I know I’m not alone. Thank you very much!!

So……. how are you guys doing? I assume you’re safe and well and not infected by Corona but how are you guys doing actually? Several of my friends have been reaching out and even park in my living room, full of questions such as: “How do I help you personally? What can I do to stand with you and show solidarity? What do you need from me?” These are questions from people who racked with guilt, uneasiness, and a lot of anxiety. Watching the local news, I’m sure, doesn’t help their emotional well being.

A feat all by itself I’ve been mainly silent for the last three weeks. When you are faced with questions like these, I can’t just shrug my shoulders and mumble “I don’t know”. My long, thought out answer every time I responded contained one very important and understated word: love.

However, when I speak of this crazy word, I’m not referencing a weapon we use to control people in relationships. It’s also not what we toss out as if checking off a moral box. It’s not the word on your favorite coffee mug about a city or your affinity for pizza. It means so much more than that. The current state of things around us prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we still don’t understand this very tiny word.

Check this video out. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QIxp9xaEGI&feature=share)

If you took the time to research this, you won’t see references to kissing, hand holding, ring purchasing, or a bouquet of flowers. What you will see is a word that strikes fear into the hearts of men and causes the earth beneath their feet to tremble violently: COMMITMENT. When you stand across from your wonderful soulmate and you say “I do”, commitment is what is implied and expected. When your best friend is in the hospital and they’re staring at the door, waiting for you to walk through it, that’s a commitment expectation. When you realize how much you have compared to the poor soul you’re gawking at, what makes you reach into your pocket or hand them a hot meal and a sincere smile, it’s because of commitment. Let’s unpack that last one.

See, the first two are easy and make sense. Heck, you’ve seen them on television so you know it’s a real thing. I want to talk briefly about the last point because that’s the one that is rarely emphasized or exhibited. Why? Because in those, there is no reasonable expectation of return. A farmer wouldn’t plant seed if he didn’t think he’d gain a harvest to feed his family. He makes an investment expecting some sort of return on his effort, time, and money.

When you give a hot meal to someone that is starving and destitute who is unable to repay you, the sacrifice takes a different tone. You are investing, knowing that you will not recompensed anything from that person or persons. You are simply exhibiting kindness. However……… that’s only partially true. You are not likely to receive anything from that person you are serving but there is a reward. (Cue ominous, suspenseful music)

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. (Colossians 3:23-24)

As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life. (I Timothy 6:17-19)

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. (Hebrews 13:16)

When you hear or read about biblical love, whether it be an innocent that could’ve wielded his mighty power and refused to give his life in exchange for yours or a recurring prerequisite for discipleship that is dependent solely on how we treat each other, commitment is the rubber that meets the road.

Now you, who claim to be bearer of such a great love, examine yourselves in the faith and see if it’s genuine. (2 Corinthians 13:5)

Do you hate your brother or sister? Do you think of your life as more valuable than those whom you feel are beneath you? Is your point more important than Jesus’s name and His Word? Is the God you serve justified in your closed eyes and mouths while injustice happens before you. Clearly, we are not all willing participants but we are all witnesses. Not what are you going to do about it?

When all has been heard, the conclusion of the matter is this: fear God and keep his commands, because this is for all humanity. For God will bring every act to judgment, including every hidden thing, whether good or evil. (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14)

Here’s another video I want you to check out:

tHErE CAn ONlY Be OnE

It’s a beautiful situation when two becomes one.

Marriage is one of the most sacred institutions in our society.

“And the two shall become one flesh; So they are no longer two but one flesh.” (Mark 10:8)

Even the concept is not lost in our favorite pastime of sports. Thirteen in football, five in basketball, and nine in baseball. All starters, with individual qualities and specific skill sets working together, unified for one common goal: To win a championship in a team sport. All these participants must become one to be successful. I’m sure you can apply this to the business world in corporations, sales teams, and perhaps, if you’re so bold, even in political realms as well.

Even men that had an absolutely ridiculous plan were nearly able to achieve it because they adopted teamwork, single focus, and one vision.

“And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly. And they had brick for stone., and slime they had for mortar. And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.” (Genesis 11:3-4)

A daring venture to become relevant and make a lasting impression for generations to come. A plot to sustain history and legacy and perhaps be famous among men. “Let us” was the rallying cry. Not me and not I but us.

Some of the most beautiful hues the world has ever seen is only possible because two became one. Like so:

Red and Blue = Purple
Yellow and Red = Orange
Red and Green = Brown
Black and White = Gray
Red and White = Pink
and lastly, Blue and Yellow = Green

I’m almost certain that most of you, if not all of you, love these colors but let’s just say for argument’s sake that you (gasp- Heaven forbid) hate the color “green”. Does this mean you also hate blue and yellow too? They are not diluted in any way nor is their individual brilliance diminished –they just have touched in such a magnificent way that their blend has forged one of the most beautiful colors of the color spectrum. It speaks to the color’s versatility and it’s ability to be multi dimensional and fertile in a sense. Can you imagine a world without blue, yellow, or green in it? How would it look? What kind of emotions would be emitted? It’s something we don’t consider because we’ve never had to. The culture associated with the color green, just as one example, has been documented for centuries and is so ingrained in the fabric of many countries and nations. Who can watch the onset of spring and see brown leaves instead of green and have the same excitement about spring and soon, summer? We benefit from this color and the emotion that comes with it. It’s just a small colorful example of what happens when you put two awesome colors together. Beautiful, vibrant, and brilliant! Who could hate that?

Perhaps one day we can see the same value in people who don’t like us but contribute something incredible to our lives and to our nation as a whole. There are plenty of examples but it’s painfully obvious that when we work together as one, we can accomplish the impossible. That’s always possible.

GOD BLeSs AmErICa

“America! America! God shed His grace on thee.
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!”
(Katherine Lee Bates, 1895)

I can almost remember the first time I heard that song. I was filled with pride and a feeling that this country was a place that dreams can come true for anyone if they worked hard and did the right thing. Perhaps it was a bit naive but I was just a kid then. Now I’m older. I’ve seen children killed in their own bedrooms by a stray bullet. I’ve seen men run down in the streets like animals. Even more recently, I’ve seen unarmed men shot and killed. I’ve seen prayer removed from public schools. In history class, I heard of brown men being chained and enslaved and stripped of purpose and destiny. I read stories of red men being driven from their land and slaughtered when they refused to simply hand over their heritage, men invited to a banquet and before their food digested, they were extinguished. I was even regaled with accounts of men, women, and children crossing vast waters, escaping war and poverty in search of freedom and the “land of opportunity”. These clutched hope with a white knuckle grip. I think we all did and perhaps still do.

“I am the poor white, fooled and pushed apart,
I am the Negro bearing slavery’s scars.
I am the red man driven from the land,
I am the immigrant clutching the hope I seek —
And finding only the same old stupid plan
Of dog eat dog, of mighty crush the weak.

O let America be America again —-
The land that never has been yet —-
And yet must be —- the land where every man is free.
The land that’s mine — the poor man’s, Indian’s, Negro’s,
Who made America,
Whose sweat and blood, whose faith and pain,
Whose hand at the foundry, whose plow in the rain,
Must bring back our mighty dream again.”
(Let America Be America Again – Langston Hughes, 1902-1967)

I don’t know slavery. But I do know and love a woman who spent her entire life of nearly 97 years old as a domestic. I watched her endure hardness and still smile. I don’t know the specific struggle of the civil rights movement. But I do know how it feels to be a Black man in America and still not be a criminal, gangbanger, father of multiple children, and a college educated, responsible husband, father, grandfather, and U.S. citizen. I don’t know the pain of people being forced off of the land to build a pipeline. I don’t know what it feels like to trust a man who gets you to sign away your land and business and, in a flash, you become instantly homeless and destitute. I don’t know what it is like to be a woman, an immigrant, or a homeless man in today’s America. I don’t know a lot of things but I clearly know things have changed. Arguments can be made that things have changed for the better. Quite frankly though, it’s hard to see that in absolutes. What I do know is things have changed for me, for my family, my friends, and their families, and for people who neither of us have ever met. With every innovation, a fiber of morality frays and the values that we used to hold dear are now really hard to find.

How has the country changed from what you remembered? Do you have stories of yourself, your parents, or your grandparents coming from other countries to America with a dream? Do you look at the inventions that we oft enjoy and remember the inventor fondly and with pride? Or do those names and faces languish in obscurity, forgotten or never even known at all?

A man that has left us far too soon and served as a mentor to my wife and I shared an incredible saying that I still remember vividly today. “When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable.” Another  relevant quote comes to mind “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” I can see the torrid history of this great country just like you can. I can touch the same library books, encyclopedias, and reference material and perhaps come to the same conclusions as you but I believe there is still something great about this country. It’s not politics, or our favorite sports teams, or even a great victory in war times that make us great. It’s always been about the people who live vigorously, who would die for what they believe, who enjoy incredible food from different cultures, and who work hard to make what started as a dream a full blown reality. They believe that this country is great and they sow seed into what they believe. Small businesses, “mom and pops” stores, charitable organizations, traffic lights, blood banks, spectrometers, carbon filament light bulbs, gas masks, color televisions, the artificial heart, the ball point pen, and pre-fabricated homes just to name a few. The hands that made these and so many other things we enjoy and desperately need came across lands, waters, bridges, borders, and, despite adverse conditions, achieved something extraordinary.

I’d love to hear what makes America such an incredible country in your opinion. Even if you don’t share, maybe you can just show compassion to someone who the world at large has forgotten and remember them. God bless America and God bless you as well.